I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop, Strange Brew and unfortunately, coming out of the nearby speaker is the 80’s song, “You better tell that girl to shut up. ” I haven’t heard that one in a while, but first found it incredibly annoying and second, realized it is epitome of why I’m writing this blog.

Wikipedia said that “Tell That Girl to Shut Up” was the second single from UK pop/rock band Transvision Vamp and was released in 1988. It was originally recorded by Holly and the Italians and was written by Holly Beth Vincent.

Check out the lyrics:
Tell That Girl To Shut Up Lyrics

Well you got that girl and she lives with you
And she does just want you want her to
And when I call you on the phone, she says you’re not there
But I know you’re home-

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Well we used to be the best of friends
Now all that’s gonna have to end
But there’s just one thing that I can’t see
How she’s got got you hanging up on me

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Well I guess you’re like that all of the time
But it takes more than that for me to loose my mind
Don’t you know that I don’t care?
Maybe if I hit her, maybe if I pulled her hair
Oh oh hey yey yeah

Well, she likes to seem intellectuel
And to be a musician she goes to school
And the way she acts is so uncool
I just can’t stand her

Written by a woman and being sung by a woman about how she wants to beat another woman up and hates her because of a man. What are we doing? I know it was the 80’s and things have changed since then, but not much. As women, we have been so brainwashed to believe we are valueless without a man.

These two used to be best friends, but they turned friendship into hate over a man. Notice that I say the women divided themselves rather than saying the man divided them. The women were the ones who ended their friendship over the man. But they didn’t have to. She’ll beat up the other woman, “girl,” pull her hair, and she “can’t stand her,” but is still worried with how the guy is hanging up on her. What about: the guy isn’t worth it. If he’s interested in her not you, move on, find someone who is fully interested in you.
As women, we don’t have to hate other women. Hating other women is essentially hating ourselves. Wanting to hurt other women is essentially wanting to hurt ourselves. This is part of the system of patriarchy. We want the attention and love of men, it’s the way the system works, it validates us, but if we don’t get it? Women can change this. We can change the way we see other women. We can respect each other.
So, instead of telling that girl to shut up, tell her you want to be her friend again.

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