Right now I’m enjoying the mountains of North Carolina and Chris Brown and the gross misogyny of the world that supports him seems far away, but social media notifications have been blasting my inbox about two things. One: how Chris Brown was allowed to play the Grammys and Two: many young women’s response to him that they’d let him beat them up any day.
Geez- you’d think they could drool over another man who wouldn’t beat up women. There are actually a lot of them out there. But Noooooo…
Tweet after fucking tweet about how they wouldn’t mind Chris Brown beating up on them. I made myself read through them, so it would sink in that it’s real, though reading through them kind of made me feel sick. The thing is that, I’m horrified, but I’m not surprised. Men and women both have blamed Rihanna for Chris Brown beating her up, but that’s not even the real deal. The real deal is this: it’s in line with what a patriarchal culture expects of its members.
Same thing with why we let Chris Brown perform. His behavior should have consequences- one being that he doesn’t perform at the Grammys. And even more sadly on a night when Whitney Houston’s life was being remembered and she had also been a victim of intimate partner violence by a man having the same last name.
A patriarchal culture dictates that women are kept secondary to men- Always. Women are not to be respected. Women are to be hated. A patriarchal culture needs women to hate other women, not to unite against men who keep women down. So women will throw other women under several buses and a train to get a man or act like they’re good enough for a man who is unreachable. This is part of the culture: Praise the violent actions of people who hurt women. Hate women. Put women down. Salute violent men. Blame women for violence against them by men.
Grrl Code: Help younger women understand no one has the right to beat them!
We have to help women understand that they may think they’re being funny or strong or tough with these texts about wanting or letting Chris Brown beat them, but women are killed every day and beaten every few minutes by men who say they love them and that isn’t a joke. What they are tweeting says a lot about them, but it also puts all women in greater danger. They are not being tough or badass, they are being tools in a society that thinks they are disposable.
Don’t celebrate men who are violent toward women.
And Chris Brown- You cannot beat me up!