5 Things Women Can Do To Change the World
If we all follow these five tips, we will help women push through to the top, but ultimately women can change the world for everyone.
1. Be Nice. Women are famous for being nice, kind, compassionate. But not to other women. Be honestly nice to other women. Even in our heads. If you think: I hate her, she’s such an idiot, dumb bitch, skinny bitch, fat bitch, she had a blonde moment… Stop. Really stop to consider why you are thinking that. What’s up? We even need to change how we think about women. Even if we think it doesn’t affect us, it does affect how we think of ourselves. You don’t have to like everyone, I know I don’t, but don’t use language, even in your head, that makes it about her being a woman.
2. Stick up for women. All women. Regardless of: size, race, ethnicity, hair color, single, married, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, physically or emotionally challenged, how we interact with each other, our likes and dislikes… we are women and we need support from each other.
A couple of years ago I went to a concert at a casino in New Mexico and when we left, there was a woman sitting on a bench with her head down crying. She was sitting there alone. I went up to her to ask her if she was okay and if she needed help or if there was anything I could do. She said no, but I wanted to ask to make sure.
3. Believe women. Let’s trust each other. The world doesn’t want us to. We are always told we are catty and back-stabbing. Let’s not be that way and let’s not think other women are like that.
When I worked at the Rape Crisis Center in Albuquerque, there were several stories of young women and teenagers who lost their best women friends after they spoke up about being sexually assaulted by guys that both women knew. The women friends didn’t believe the women speaking out about the assault and shunned her. It often made me equally sad to hear about the loss of the women’s friendship as it did to hear about the rape because the friendship would have been so key in helping the survivor heal. Trust that other women are telling the truth. Let’s believe each other.
4. Don’t call other women names. I hear women all the time call other women bitches. Why aren’t we jerks or assholes, terms that apply to everyone. I’ve done this myself from time to time, but we have to work on not doing it, it’s reinforcing the fact that it’s okay to put women down b/c of our gender. Especially among young women, but not limited to them, I sometimes hear women say other women are sluts, hoes, and skanks. Ask yourself these questions: What is it about this woman we need to insult? What is it about us we need to insult?
5. Let’s not fight over men. Women often don’t like other women or want to fight them or put them down when they feel threatened that the other woman will “take their man.” We are more than just the other half of some man’s orange. We are our own selves. If you’re a lesbian or date women, don’t fight women over women either. I’ll also say I think it’s a patriarchal construct for women to fight other women for women. The whole thing is such a scarcity model- we can’t survive without a man, we need a man to be worth anything at all. Blah. Come on, we all have something awesome about us, if we need a man to reassure us of that, we have some soul searching to do about what our awesomeness is. That’s not to say we can’t have men as partners, of course we can, but they have to be just that, partners in our relationship not the thing that defines us.
What else can we do to make the world a better place for women, and ultimately for everyone?