As women we need to love each other, to care for each other, to protect one another emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Here are some tips on how. Please come up with your own and add to the list.
1. Believe in women. Women have courage and strength. Have faith in other women, in our ideas, thoughts and plans. Believe that we can make change.
2. Encourage the ideas of women. Women have a lot of amazing ideas but often they are not heard. It might be that the ideas of men are louder, paid more attention to, or given preferential treatment. Fight for women’s ideas to be heard and listened to.
3. Build Women Up Rather than Putting Us Down. Say positive things about women or nothing at all. Say positive things to women without turning around to say the opposite behind her back. Say positive things to women and mean it.
4. Blame the real ones at fault for violence. When women are targets of violence, like rape and intimate partner violence, women are also often blamed and many times by other women. Don’t stick up for the perpetrators, hold them accountable. Women are never at fault for violence perpetrated against them. It doesn’t matter what the woman was wearing, where she went, if she drank, no one has the right to rape her or hit her or push her…
5. Believe women when we say we have been hurt or are afraid. Women are often ignored and not believed when they are being hurt and/or in danger. We can and should believe each other.
6. Don’t sell your friend out for a man. I have seen so many women over the years drop best friends because they believe the woman is trying to steal their man, suddenly don’t trust her around her boyfriend, only have time for the man, don’t believe the female friend was raped by one of their male friends and she sides with the male friend. Have more faith in your friendship and in women.
7. Know that women can be loyal friends and can get along. I’ve said it before, but I have heard so often in my life how women are backstabbing and catty and can’t get along, so I’ll say it again, that’s bull. Don’t believe the hype and don’t play into it. Friendships with women can be amazingly intimate- gems. Be friends with women. Work on growing those friendships.
8. Trust women. Trust women to be there for you. Be there for other women so you are trustworthy too, not just as a woman, as a person. Reach out to other women and let them reach out to you in the ways they can. Foster friendships and relationships with women. Women need other women. We need to be able to rely on each other.
9. Be inspired by women. We are inspirational. Look at all we do. Look around you at the women you have known and know now in your life. We do so much. We raise families, we take care of homes, we educate children, we clean, we cook, we are lawyers and doctors and housekeepers and restaurant servers and receptionists and translators and nurses. We talk and move and make change. Be inspired by what women do, we multi-task like nobody’s business and we get it done.
10. Enjoy the company of women. Make time to be with other women. Be present with the relationships with women that you have and enjoy each minute of that relationship, whether it be joking, laughing, crying, talking seriously about hard things or light hearted things. Enjoy that company. Maybe with a coffee, tea or a burrito. Give your time to another woman too. Hang out and get to know each other better.
Grrl Code: Be a woman who values and appreciates other women. Love other women and be loved by women. We are so awesome!